1.Talk about it
In this life, we all need help no matter our status in life. The pain and the regret you are feeling if not dealt with can become a cancer. It can keep you bound and prevent you from making progress in life. At this point, you need to talk to someone. This person should not just be anybody, this should be someone you can trust or respect and you think the person can give you the needed support and attention. Even if you do not have such persons in your life you can go to a professional for counseling. This will help you shed the pain and help you to recover quickly.
2. Keep your habits
Do not allow the divorce to disorganize and demoralize you, have faith hope for the best. A divorce has the tendency of upsetting your daily routine, but you should try to maintain a certain stability. You are the most important person in your own life, it therefore important to give yourself a good treat. Especially if there are children. A familiar routine structure will give you peace and stability. You will be organized in a manner similar to the first and things will be easier and better.
3.Be open with your children.
Love your kids. The children need to know what is going on and to be reassured that the separation is not their fault. Put their needs first, even before your own. Inform them about the changes. Encourage them to talk and don’t judge their feelings. Everything you do should be done in their best interest. Above all, they should be aware that the separation does not concern them and that you parents will continue to love them and support them. Be dependable, reliable and make them happy always and nothing you do should be done without asking how your choices will affect them.
4.Take care of yourself.
Taking good care of yourself will make your problems begin to seem lighter and a great feeling of goodness.A great stress such as divorce must be fought with the inner strength, but also with physical well-being. Though the children and their feelings are definitely the priority but remember that separation is a big wound for those who live it. After you have had some time to be alone. Take time to go through your closets and pick what will actually make you beautiful after your divorce and do away with the rest. It is time to take care of your body. Everyday exercise and good nutrition are important for your wellbeing. Go for physical, dental check-up and any other necessary health examination. To check for your total wellbeing. It is important to revive the things that make you feel alive and that generate energy and desires.
5.Keep busy.
It will do you a lot of good if, you maintain your social relations. The more you talk the better you are able to take the emotion out and deal with the practicality of your situation. Don't lose touch with your friends.Many people tend to close up, for fear of having to show others what they consider a failure after a divorce. Having a community of wonderful friends who won't judge you, will listen to you, will love you, and will always support you in any way. Being in the company of these friends will help you better withstand the pain and the hurt.Learning new skills and about new topics can be for pleasure or for extra revenue. Get involved in a new and empowering hobby, things you’ve always wanted to try but never had the
time to do them. It may be the best decision you ever make.
6.Plan the future:
Develop strategies to help you stay focused. This will help you forget the pain and the hurt because if you do not keep busy you spend a lot of time feeling anxious and depressed. Set goals for yourself. Try to have five to 10 goals you’re working on at any given time and let those be a mix of short term and long term goals. These goals should be specific, measurable, and achievable and should be time specific.It very important to develop actions plans to help you get to your set target. Find yourself a job though this may seem daunting, but there are many benefits. Your job will help you to become confidence and your salary will help you plan your finances. Though things may come up to get in the way of you achieving your goals, just give it all your attention and put in you maximum energy.
7.Stop the Bad
talk.
Know this, Bad talk about the other party is just a waste of time and you are hurting yourself as well. Emotional pain is easier to process if it’s talked about but, bending the ear of everyone isn’t going to lessen your pain and confusion. Accept it, it's over and both of you are responsible for the break up. The less you talk about your ex, the less you will think about your ex. when you continually speak badly about your partner you are hurting yourself. Spending time to talk badly about your partner is wrong and it will not do you any good. Experience of an unwanted divorce may be hard for you to handle or accept. Learned from your experience.Put it into practice and look at the future for something new.
8. Forget the past.
For your information life has chapters when one opens another must necessary close. A break up is the end of one important chapter and potentially the starting of another. You have to accept the end point. People sometimes feel that they can't let go of the past until 'justice' has been done. Stop thinking about what you have experienced. Placing the divorce in the past and deciding to move forward with your life challenging though it may seem you have what it takes to overcome. When a relationship is broken there is a tendency to become depressed, to idealize the past as if everything had been horrible or as if everything had been perfect and now has already been lost. Working to put the past relationship in perspective, forgiving mistakes and wrongs, accepting the finality of the divorce, and just deciding to move on can help people to let go. Your life becomes better and happier.
Know this, Bad talk about the other party is just a waste of time and you are hurting yourself as well. Emotional pain is easier to process if it’s talked about but, bending the ear of everyone isn’t going to lessen your pain and confusion. Accept it, it's over and both of you are responsible for the break up. The less you talk about your ex, the less you will think about your ex. when you continually speak badly about your partner you are hurting yourself. Spending time to talk badly about your partner is wrong and it will not do you any good. Experience of an unwanted divorce may be hard for you to handle or accept. Learned from your experience.Put it into practice and look at the future for something new.
8. Forget the past.
For your information life has chapters when one opens another must necessary close. A break up is the end of one important chapter and potentially the starting of another. You have to accept the end point. People sometimes feel that they can't let go of the past until 'justice' has been done. Stop thinking about what you have experienced. Placing the divorce in the past and deciding to move forward with your life challenging though it may seem you have what it takes to overcome. When a relationship is broken there is a tendency to become depressed, to idealize the past as if everything had been horrible or as if everything had been perfect and now has already been lost. Working to put the past relationship in perspective, forgiving mistakes and wrongs, accepting the finality of the divorce, and just deciding to move on can help people to let go. Your life becomes better and happier.
9. Love again
Do not allow your past experience impoverish your ability to love. Learn to love yourself, it is the first step to opening up your heart to love again. Forgive yourself, may be you have this regret of thinking that you made the wrong choice or the separation was your fault. Learning to love again is all about trusting yourself with your heart and being the best caretaker of it. But before you get into any love relationship make sure you have let go of the pain and the hurt otherwise this can be a stumbling block to your new found love relationship
10.Growth
Use the experience to your advantage, take this moment in time to grow. There are things that you have left behind and forgotten. Pick up your life, from the ground and learn to be yourself. Tell yourself you would not repeat those past mistakes and you will see how lovely your new life become. Take the opportunity of defeat to work a change. Do not stop building. Feed your passions and nourish yourself with the knowledge that will help you to produce and maintain new love relationships. Love is said to be the most beautiful thing or the most difficult in life, and for this adventure, only a few succeed in producing this true love. The most important thing at this stage is not wasting your pain but rather invest it. The greatest way we can invest our pain is to use it to motivate ourselves for personal growth and development. Becoming a better persons, and then support others who are going through break ups, helping them to see that they too can survive and become happier and healthier.
11. Get Spiritual Support
We can’t leave God out of our life. He is our ever help in
times of trouble. Our lives are in His
hand and He is the only one that can calm the troubled waters. Trust in God and
he will restore what has been broken and the hurt inside of you. Pray to him
for forgiveness and ask for forgiveness from your former spouse because there is release and freedom in forgiveness. Talk to
your spiritual leader to help you in pray and surround yourself with other
Christian forks who you believe can be a great
support to you. If your trust is in the Lord you
have no cause to worry through His son Jesus He is going to help you
fulfill your dreams and aspiration you only need to have faith in the son.
Look ahead to your future and know that with the Lord all hopes
is not lost.
