Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
What men want in a relationship:8 things they really need

What men want in a relationship:8 things they really need







 Expectations and needs between men and women are not at all the same, and it is better to know the expectations of the other sex since the relationship of two is a place where one can experience the satisfaction of our deep needs.

 Indeed, we all carry within ourselves the need for a minimum of recognition of who we are, as well as the desire for a simple and shared happiness. Here is a list of what men look for in a relationship.

They want to feel needed
The feeling of being needed is a core human need. And we all need to feel needed and wanted. A man must feel needed and appreciated. He must feel valued for what he provides whether it is physical, psychological, financial or emotional. 
A man feels needed, as that gives him self-worth. It makes them feel powerful and very good inside, because it brings the feeling that they can conquer anything. I tell you all men want to be admired and desired, or that they want to be complimented. These create opportunities for them to be your heroes.
 Seek help in tasks that only they can do - ask them to pick you up at work when you work overtime. Appreciate the little things he does. Tell your boyfriend or husband that you love him often. A man wants to feel like a man. 
And he feels like a man when he’s needed and desired by a special someone, you. He loves the role of being a protector. And men feel good about themselves when they see themselves as the provider of your happiness and security.


They want respect
Everyone, regardless of gender, wants to be respected. A man always expects his wife to respect him, both in his presence and in his absence. Though every couple has their individual differences. Respect here applies to both his person and his family as well as his efforts and involvement in your relationship.

 By respecting his beliefs and priorities, he gets the idea that you have a very high consideration of him as a person and that he is a decent and trustworthy man. Ask for his opinion on things of great importance. This will prove that you value his ideas and that his words are of great importance. Men feel respect as love. If he feels rejected his career or the things he believes that makes him a person will go through a hard time and he would find it difficult to love you.


They want to be admired
As a woman needs compliments to feel beautiful, loved and desired, a man needs recognition and appreciation that will flatter his ego. Even the most handsome and smartest guys on the planet have their own insecurities. 

Yes, men need recognition from their partners for what they do. They want to know that their partner is proud of them. This gives him a good feeling. Expressing admiration, you will show him that the efforts are not in vain. Show him that you accept him for what he is and you really love him.  

 Laugh at his jokes, funny or silly as they are. Feel free to express your wonder at his appearance, applaud his prowess. If he conquers something important in his career, be proud of him. Keep your eyes glued to him during encounters. Make him feel the sexiest human being on the planet. Let him feel that you are proud of his achievements.




They want freedom and space
Both man and woman need their own space. Men are deeply attracted to women who are independent and who know what they want. What men want is to have their space and freedom. 

Not having one's own space, makes a relationship "sick" because one's individualism is lost and if one turns one's life around a person without having hobbies, passions or plans, this can do a lot of harm to the relationship. 

So allow them their privacy.  Most at time men have the thought that if they do not allow their partners to have their space they might feel pressured and hurting. The greatest gift a man needs from the one who is close to him is a bit of "time for himself", to be alone and to be able to pursue his own interests and hobbies.



They want emotional maturity
What men want in a serious relationship is a partner they can trust emotionally, not someone who makes drama,  they need a person who helps him to stay balanced offering him support and tranquility. 

Who needs someone who at the first sign of trouble, either gives up immediately or begins the game of name-calling? You must make sure that when he cries in front of you, you will not reject him or act badly. If you reject him,  or not able to support him when he needs you most, he will no longer trust you with his emotions.

 A man needs a mature, confident and emotionally stable woman. He needs someone who understands empathy, who knows what can hurt him, and with this person, he can build a relationship that is happy, healthy and stable in the long run.




They want security.
A relation can only be secured if the man can trust and be trusted or not feel anxious or afraid, and believe the other person loves them.  A relationship where you believe your partner does not want to leave you. 

The more a man feels that his partner will be there for him no matter what, he will feel more ready and able to open up with her. But security goes beyond just the fact that you will not leave him. The security he should feel is related to knowing that you approve of him and where he is professionally.

 He feels safe and loved when you touch him in a non-sexual way. He feels safe when he knows that he can take nights with his friend away from you and without feeling the need to call him or text him every half an hour to check on him.
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They want Intimacy
Men and women connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through verbal communication and men connect better with sex. This does not mean that men need to have sex with their partner every day in order to feel connected. 

A man will take the initiative to have sex just to make sure that you are still sexually available to him. Maintain the level of attraction and learn when to seduce and heighten his desire. 

Flirt and fiddle with him. Be unpredictable and surprise him. Increase his level of desire for you and let him go crazy by wearing fabrics that provoke him and whet his appetite for you. Talk to your partner and ask him specifically what makes him feel most loved.
Giving support
One important point to make your partner happy is to be unique, is to support him; be a true friend and understand his plans and projects, giving your individual contribution. He wants comfort and moral support from his partner, which will help him recharge his batteries and cope with another equally tiring day. Also, know that a man draws his strength from that of his partner, so even if he does not show his weakness or his fears, always be there for him to support and appease him.


Dating and Marriage:9 secrets to a happier relationship

Dating and Marriage:9 secrets to a happier relationship







Having at our side a person who loves you, respects you, values ​​you and care about you is one of the most wonderful gifts of life. We all aspire to find love. Find a person with whom to share our life, who makes us happy, who cares for us and who loves us more than anyone else in the world.

This sometimes is not easy, you run into people who apparently seem appropriate, but in the end, things go wrong. Until finally you find the one with which you can imagine a future and a life to share and everything is beautiful and wonderful.

However, relationships have many challenges: coexistence can be difficult at times, we forget to balance our needs and desires with those of our partner, we become dependent and when things are not going so well in our relationship, we feel sad, anxious and worried. Hence the importance of having an increasingly healthy relationships, which bring us much pleasure and happiness. 

To have a good relationship, it takes more than attraction, work is required and both should be willing to make the effort. Here are some tips to build a healthy relationship.

1. Love unconditionally.
Love is a verb and therefore it must be practiced. The state of accepting a person regardless of his condition or state and making the welfare of that person your priority without wanting anything in return. Married couples are to love each other unconditionally. It all about taking into account the happiness of another without any thought of what you might get for yourself. Unconditional love requires that you don’t have to look at the weakness of your spouse, you forgive your spouse anytime they offend you, and you do not make your spouse feel less important or inferior, being patient and accommodating. It’s unconditional love when other people care about our happiness.

2. Respect for each other.
Every house which is not built upon a strong foundation, will fall likewise marriage. The marital relationship can never be conflict-free, but having mutual respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. Never take each other for granted. In a marriage where there is no respect for each other, it is not a healthy marriage. You are allowed to criticize but destructive criticism is dangerous to the health of your marriage. Give reverence to your spouse and do not in any way disregard him or her because of a shortcoming. You do not have to shout to be heard when discussing issues. Do not call your spouse names, despising your partner, attacking your partner when having a discussion, abuse your partner verbally or physically or cheat on your partner all this does not show respect. If you do not place value on your partner and you always disregard their feelings they will become conceited, closed up and defensive.
 3. Manage conflict.
We, humans, are imperfect and we all have our differences, it completely natural. With our imperfection, we always fall short of expectation. Misunderstanding will always spring up in our marriage due to our imperfection. Marriage is never conflict-free. But what makes a successful marriage is knowing how to argue and after being able to come to a peaceful conclusion. Solving disputes and disappointment is the cornerstone of a happy marriage. The key point is this, learn how to fight right, how to apologize after the fight and finding a lasting solution to the problem, is your best bet to a blissful marriage.


4. Have a forgiven heart.
The is no relationship without issues and a relationship means vulnerability. You either disappoint or be disappointed. You have no control over this matter the best you can do in painful circumstances is to have a big heart. A heart that can never be satisfied or can be filled to the brim with pain or disappointment less it explodes. Our heart should be big enough to forgive always without keeping track of the past. No matter what you do the arrow of pain and hurt will be shot at you but what will make you survive is when you have the shield of forgiveness. You must learn to forgive it important because unforgiveness breeds resentment and bitterness. Bitterness and resentment over time create hatred. Learn to forgive and forget even when your spouse refuses to apologize for an offense. Do not harbor the pain, you are hurting yourself.

5. Learn to compromise.
To compromise require that you should be patient, open-minded, work as a team and above all self-sacrifice. You don’t have to agree with everything your spouse says, as a matter of fact, it is completely impossible to be on the same page every time. This will surely bring disagreement. All you can do is to be open to considering their point of view. Learn to give up on your desires just to make your spouse have his or her way. Because you are no longer alone where you only think about yourself but you have to put your marriage above your personal interests. Learn to understand each other. Anytime there is an issue, find common grounds and compromise

6. Do not neglect the relationship
People become careless and dormant, which is very common over time, in the relationship.  Then all those charms begin to dwindle and all the attention that was given at the beginning disappears. It is when people ask themselves, without really knowing why "What did I do wrong?". Therefore, the relationship is like a child or any other association that you want to do, it needs care, attention, and affection.


7. Be open and honest
Trust is still one of the big buzzwords that form the basis of every relationship. To open up and talk about your concerns and deep emotions. Experts see it as one of the essential recipes, which makes for a happy relationship: "The feeling of being able to express oneself to the other partner with his innermost self, to be saved with his or her weaknesses and quirks creates stronger bonding and closeness. These are important ingredients for a much stable love relationship. "If you have an open and honest relationship with your partner, this, in turn, has positive effects on your communication and conflict management. Building trust requires mutual commitment. Trust can’t be built if only one partner is willing to do this and the other isn’t.  it’s important for both partners to trust and be trusted, to open up and be vulnerable with each other.

 8. Learning to talk to each other
The mere ability to speak and listen does not say anything about the ability to communicate, communication is such a huge part of our day-to-day lives. When done correctly, it helps us understand how the other person is feeling and what they are thinking. We leave our parents' houses and do not realize that we often did not properly learn relationship and communication. To speak with each other must be learned; in every love relationship. Especially women complain about too little communication, too little conversation, too little time to deal with each other. Happy couples are different from non-happy ones, partners in happy love relationship talk a lot about personal concerns. They exchange their personal experience and state of health in conversation; tell each other what happened to them, what causes them fear or joy. When trying to communicate with your partner, it’s important, to be honest with them. Using the concept of dialogue is the best framework conditions that enable a very effective communication with each other. The dialogue allows one to turn to each other, to perceive oneself and the others, to listen and develop together, as well as to create trust and a rule-free mode of conversation.

 9.Do not take your partner for granted
We are so eager to be understood, valued, and perceived by someone. This unconscious expectation breaks many relationships If not realized however, this must first take its start in yourself. What has to start with you is appreciation for everything including yourself. Taking your partner for granted could be in many forms. The fastest road to relationship collapse is taking your partner for granted. If your partner never says "thank you. “After You do all kinds of stuff to make your partner happy, from cooking a meal,  to doing big, complicated favors. Or If your partner cheats on you, because they think they'll get away with it.  Your partner is taking you for granted. All, this attitude is important; being appreciative, not cheating, valuing the opinions of your partner and being romantic spice up the relationship. Especially being appreciative of your partner means not taking his existence and his so-being for granted and to have the willingness to be with him. By recognizing your partner and respecting his being shows, you value not only him/her but also yourself and your choices





Secrets to happy marriage

Secrets to happy marriage


     
 Marriage is a beautiful union which brings a man and woman from different backgrounds together. It is therefore important to make a conscious effort to better it.                                          

Remember your best times.
However, marriage is not a bed of roses,  but I believe the best times are more. Every marriage has its vicissitudes and sometimes these very skirmishes spoil the beautiful and lovely marriage we have long dreamed about if not handled effectively. In spite of all these, we can build a strong marriage if we only understand or have at the back of our minds that we are in to compliment each other. Remembering your best times is a great way to strengthen your marriage. This is most effective when it is done by both spouses together. Remembering those best times makes things feel fresh and anew, like when you first met. There is nothing more fun than being in the arms of each other and sharing your best times together. It is a good reflection and it makes a day great. Some of these memorable occasions could be.

When you first met
The first time you kissed
Your first date
Your wedding day
The first night of your wedding
Your honeymoon
When you were expecting your first child and when he/she finally arrived.

All these great moments in your marriage is to prove how far you have come as couples. There is nothing so refreshing than to love and be loved, it brings some sense of security, confidence and assurance. Bringing to memory your best times would not occur naturally most times but there are some activities you can do together which can help reflect on those memorable occasions.

 How to save your marriage

Looking at your photos together. Pictures do not lie they are a great way to reflect on the past, bringing to memory the forgotten times. Looking at your pictures would help tell how both of you have changed or improved physically. It also helps to make fun of each other, this occurs naturally without any struggle nor fear. Pictures have a fine and funny way of bringing to memory those fun moments forgotten. This act bonds both of you together in a very beautiful and special way.

Visiting those places, you had your nice times. These places take you back into memory of how you celebrated your love and enjoyed yourselves, it brings back the spirit of love and serves as a period of relaxation for both of you.
Going on a family vacation with your kids.
Watching your wedding video together.
Attending a friend’s party or wedding together.
Remembering your best times influences your marriage greatly by rekindling your love life. The desire for each other increases and the longing, to be with, share, hold and care for each other is motivated. It also makes your home lovely and the best place you would always long to be.

Furthermore, hope and trust is built. That better future you always dream of your marriage is assured and strong faith in each other is brought to light.
It helps to keep the vowel and the promises you made to each other. Your vowels and promises are always brought to mind and actions are taking to fulfill them.
Beautiful times when remembered is health to the body and cheer to the broken heartened

                    See things from the viewpoint of your spouse

Men and women are entirely different species altogether. Their natural make up turns to affect their actions, thought pattern and vision. No two people are the same, as husband and wife both of you are entirely new to each other.
Women in every relation turn to be very emotional and examine issues critically yet they are the weakest compared to their male counterparts who are some way passive and aggressive towards issues and they appear to be the strongest in the relationship. This diversities in nature is to help them see the clear image of life when they come together as husband and wife. It is not an accident to have divergent views on life as spouse, it just natural that the two of you see things from a different angle. You cannot blame yourselves for these differences but rather appreciate the fact of being different when it comes to issues. No matter how hard you try. You cannot be same in thought and deeds as couples; naturally, you would have to involve yourselves in each other in these following ways.

Putting yourselves in each other's shoes. Taking into account the way the other partner is feeling or taking an interest in the way your partner is doing things.
Do not be controversial
Do no take entrenched position when it comes to issues
Be patient and tolerant.
Have a teachable and learning spirit
Forget the past mistakes.
Be open minded

                                                                        Respect

Though short this word may be, it has a great impact on marital relationship. Respect is all about given reverence to someone or being modest in attitude. Every human in this life has some level of pride and self-respect, when this standard is compromised the is bound to be problems. In marriage, it is not how beautiful or rich you are but your attitude in the relationship has a greater influence.

Beauty attracts but it takes attitude to keep a friend. In marriage men turn to gravitate towards respect while the women gravitate towards love and where the is no respect, love is absent. While the wife turns to respect the husband, he loves her more and more.
In building a strong love relationship with your spouse, respect should be a mutual thing. Respect in marriage is one great ingredient to a successful and a happier marriage. In today’s world divorce is on the ascendancy because couples have lost this moral value and have taken on pride, unforgiveness, selfishness, etc.
The subject of respect in marriage is so key that it should not be overlooked. Couples need to let go of pride and should not be too wise in their own eyes.

Do not verbally abuse or assault your partner. These create a division in the home and make the children be disrespectful toward the other partner. Insulting your spouse in the presence of your kids or before friends shows how fractured you are morally, remember you are a role model to your children and they might repeat it or do it in their future marriage. The other partner may feel greatly hurt because these acts are shameful and humiliating. Exposing the weakness of your partner in an act which is damaging indirectly has a great toll on you.

Never in your life say the negative of your spouse in the presence of your kids, family or friends nor broadcasting your spouse to win the praise of people, it sinful and unacceptable in the sight of God.

Do not physical assault your spouse. It shows how weak you are in controlling your home and how unaccepted, unloved, and disrespected the other partner is.
Do not utter words that are so damaging or say things that bring to mind the unfortunate past. Sometimes in our anger, we say things we are not to say, like "I've regretted marrying you”, “you are a mistake", useless thing”, “good for nothing fool" etc. These are heart-cutting utterances which cut to the core, learn to control your temper and tame the tongue please, it is a good virtue.

 You might lose your spouse when you make such remarks it so damaging that it can cause emotional and mental traumas and this will process in your spouse coldness or lukewarm behaviors. If you find yourself in this situation pray for God's forgiveness and He should restore you spouse. Let couples show respect to each other in a meaningful way, this should be without partiality or pretense.
                                                             
 How to save your marriage
                                           Show love

Love is an abstract and therefore can only be seen when it is expressed through actions. If you are in love with someone, you are romantically attached to them and they are very important to you. Showing love requires that you should be romantic and being romantic is simply doing or saying things that will make your spouse feel special and loved. These act does not require you to be that expensive, it all about little or simple things but yet they mean a lot. Some of these little things are.

Kissing your spouse. At list kiss, your spouse four times in a day. First in the morning just after bed, secondly before setting off to work, thirdly when you arrive from work and just before bedtime

Give gifts. Buy gifts for your spouse, this should not only be special occasion but should be a lifestyle. A gift whether big or small show how you love and cherish your spouse.

Tell your spouse sweet things. Tell your spouse how much you love him or her, use words that are refreshing and ear tickling. Mean what you say and let your body language reflect it as well.

Spend quality time together. It is not the length of time spent but how it was spent gives it value. Take your spouse to dinner, to watch a movie but should be the kind that your spouse likes, a music concert, comedy concerts. Though these things are difficult for some to practice, I think it a gradual process and it will take practice and reading of healthy material about these things to get you fully prepared. There are many ways to be romantic; you could develop your own ways of showing your romantic nature.

                                                 Give care and support

Loving a person demands that their happiness is important to you and to make up for this you take good care of them. It is a duty to keep each other in good condition by the following.

Encouragement and counsel. Spur each other on and give advice.
Financially. Meet the financial needs of each other.
Domestic help. Assist your spouse in cooking or doing laundry
Training of kids. Have a common goal and method to train your kids and these goals should not be compromised
Spiritually. Pray for each other and maintain the covenant
                                        



 
                                       Have more and improved sex life

Sex cannot be separated from marriage, it so important that you cannot underestimate this subject and at no point in your marriage should you deprive yourselves the pleasure of sex, it affects the health of your marriage negatively. Sex plays a vital roll in marriage and has a significant effect on the emotional, spiritual and the physical outlook of the marriage. Research has shown that married men who have more sex with their wives turn out to be more confident than their counterparts with little or no sex. If your sex is below 96 a year than you have a sexless marriage. A sexless marriage has a number of contributing factors.


Monotonous sex life. When your sex life becomes monotonous, it simply means that it is very boring because it has a regular, repeated pattern which never changes. Variety in the way you initiate and perform sex gives it a different outlook. When sex in marriage becomes boring the marriage also becomes boring as well and the is the temptation to go out. When sex becomes monotonous the edge and the drive to engage in each other becomes less.

Issues of personal hygiene. Issues of personal hygiene have a significant effect on your sex life. Most women complained about their husbands not bathing twice or not bathing before wanting to sleep with them. While the men claim that, their wives turn out to look unattractive after marriage by leaving their hair undone and not dressing to attract.etc. Bad breath and body odor are also some of the issues complained about.


Health Problems. When the body is sick it functionality is greatly reduced. Health issues relating to sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunctions. These issues affect childbirth and sex life. Some of these sufferers of these diseases turn out to cover it up with excuses. I advise you to see an expert to help solve or talk to someone you think can help.
Marriage feels hollow, happiness is incomplete when the is no sex in the marriage or it becomes unpleasurable. However, the are several things to do to make your sex life better and enjoyable.

Know the body of your spouse. Couples need to be very observing of each other and have some knowledge of each other's body type. It is takes learning and communication to arrive at this point. The bodily characteristic and the nature of a person influences their activates generally, so it is very important to have a fair idea of what to do to turn them on or particular parts of their bodies that turn them on.

  Communication. Your sex life won't get better without communication, it is very important to discuss issues relating to your sex life as couples. It helps to correct and straighten mistakes committed. You can discuss your most preferred and enjoined sex position(s), it will also help greatly if you discuss the general conduct during and after your lovemaking, if either of you did not meet expectation.

Learn and use new sex positions. The use of different sex position brings variation in your lovemaking. There are a lot of healthy marriage books that can give you much information on this.
Warning: please avoid the use of pornographic materials whether books or tapes because most of their activities are fiction and inapplicable. The use of too many sex positions should be avoided at list 2-3 is advisable, too may make your lovemaking boring and frustrating.

 How to save your marriage

Be positive and recognize that it normal to have differences

As couples, you need to be hopeful and confident, and think of the good aspects of your marriage, know that your positivity and negativity has a direct effect on your marriage. It is garbage in, garbage out, your mindset and proclamation about your marriage determines its success.

We are not ignorant of the fact that sometimes certain happenings make us portray negativity, we are to ignore it before it takes root and becomes destructive to the survival of the marriage. Guard and guide your hearts, minds and tongue, teach yourselves to be positive in all situations, in no way should you dwell on the negatives of each other nor take an entrenched position because your better half misbehaved.
You are only allowed to correct not to judge but should be done in love. Positive attitude produces positive results and the negative vice versa like Newton’s law which states: to every action the is an equal and opposite reaction. In marriage, the more you point to the negative the more the love dwindles.

Negativity produces limitations. You might not see the full beauty of your spouse or the inner qualities that makes up their true personality. The wouldn't be openness, the expression of love, sharing of ideas and opinions

Setbacks. In a marriage where the is no love and the expression of ideas, the is no progress. When you are negative, it keeps you bound and nonreactive towards the progress of your marriage. How can you achieve success when you are doubtful, simply because you are being captured by fear and bitterness.

Fear and bitterness. Do not allow this destructive weapon of the devil to take root in your life. For where the is fear the is insecurity and the devil thrives. Most couples became bitter towards each other when they realize they are being maltreated. This keeps you bound and nonreactive towards the growth and prosperity of your marriage
In building a strong and happier marriage couples need to have a positive attitude, they should speak well of themselves and learn from each other. Admire and look for the positive qualities in yourselves rather than the negative. Speak positive things into your marriage and always expect the best, also learning to take control of your tempers.

The most identical twins are not the same and it is typical of every human due to how they were trained and the environment they grew up. Couples should be aware of the fact that it normal to have misunderstandings. No marriage is immune to disagreement. Couples should be mentally and emotionally prepared to handle quarrels because every marriage at a point in time faces this reality but these quarrels should not be stretched but should be resolved amicably and immediately. It very important to appreciate these quarrels, they came as test of your love for each other and to mature you as couples.

These differences should not be allowed to bring separation between the two. Do not always want to win the argument, exercise all your rights or think you are always right. Sometimes you have to lose the argument, overlook things just to ensure peace and harmony.
In other to nail these differences, it is very necessary to be patient and tolerant; it is required to be temperate and accommodating in attitude.

Be ready to forget the hurt and forgive
Relate to each other in humility and respect
Be open-minded and do not take entrenched positions.
Warning: it is not right to quarrel in front of the kids or in the public but rather do it in your bedroom undertone far from the hearing of others.
                 
           

                     Make Christ the center of the marriage

God instituted marriage and so in him all thing are made perfect. To every existing art, the is an architect and he can best explain the art of his handy work. Therefore, God is the only manual of marriage. In him, only the joy and the fulfillment of marriage is found. To have access to God you need Christ. Without Christ, in your life, God is far from your reach.

 Maybe you are already a Christian, it does not guaranty that Christ is in your marriage. He would only take charge of the marriage if you invite him in. Christian couples would have to willing open up their marriage to Christ by confessing him lord over their marriage. Allow Him to have his authority established in the marriage, let Him lead and you do the following, let His influence have the greater impact on your marriage through the spirit.

 Cast all your cares and burdens on him; think of them no more for he is faithful to do that which you have asked. Maybe you do not know Christ, I recommend him to you this day to have a hold on to him.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The love of God has no limit, He is an embodiment of love and His love is the greatest. For God so loved you and me that He sent Jesus to pay for our sins. No matter what you have done, the gravity of sin you have committed Jesus will make you whole. His main aim is to give your soul rest and put to flight all your burdens. He is the only one that can revive that dead marriage, give you hope, straighten the crooked path. He is ever ready for you, all you have to do is to confess Him as Lord of your life

{john 1:12, 3:5-6}12Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children 5Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You need to be born again through the renewing of your mind and ways, to share in this glorious kingdom. [2corithins 5.17]17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come

Jesus is still in the business of setting people free from death and translating them into life. After this life the is only two places for your soul, it is either Hell or Heaven. Hell is for those who do not know Christ or those who have head of Him but rejected Him.

 [luke16:21-23]20At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. 22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

If you do not have Christ, you are heading towards eternal distraction. Hell is a place of pain, hurt, disgrace, everlasting suffering, and regret. Do not be deceived, Hell is not a state of being but a literal place of burning sulfur, which exists beyond the reach of the physical]
 Daniel 12.22Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.

Heaven is for those who have Christ and have walked in his principles faithfully, it is a place of peace, feasting, celebration, joy, reward and eternal life. Heaven is a glorious place with streets of gold and mansion, the beauty of heaven is beyond the imaginations of men. The choice is yours to either be with Jesus Christ in heaven or to go to hell where the is suffering.

Jesus is light. He is light and a lamp to those who have him. He becomes your wisdom and security to guard and guide you in all thing pertaining to life and  Godliness. [1coritains 1.24]24But to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
Many who have come to him are still with him because he has never disappointed them nor failed on his promises. If  this day you will open your heart and let him in, it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter where you have been and it doesn't matter what you have done Jesus is suffering calling, it because of who he is and because of where his been you can start all over again. if you are ready to start all over again just pray this  prayer

Dear lord am a sinner and believing that the Lord Jesus Christ died for my sins on the cross and was raised for my justification, l do now receive and confess Him as my Lord and personal Saviour

Maybe you just dedicated your marriage to God or you just gave your life Christ you can do the following as couple or as an individual to make Christ the center of your marital life or personal life.
Pray together as a couple or as an individual 

[1 Thessalonians 5.17-18]16Be joyful always;
17 pray continually; 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Pray at all times, pray for the growth and well-being of your marriage and life. Go for prayer meetings and have special prayer and fasting as an individual or couple.
Read and study the bible.

[Joshua 1.8]8Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Have family quite times, teach your children the principles of God. Join others in worship. May be you just got born again I edge you find a bible believing church near you and fellowship with them and if you are already a believer I edge you also to  be in church always with you family.


Benefits Of Sex

Benefits Of Sex





Difficulties in bed are the most common reasons couples go for counseling. Unfortunately, many fight over sex without realizing the great things it can do for their relationship. Some people believe that sex is overrated in a relationship, while for others there are many reasons why it is very important. In fact, many of the problems of couples have their origin in the importance they give to sex and in the amount that each one needs. Sex is an important part of a couple's life, although it is not of equal importance to all people. It may seem obvious, but over time people change, evolve, and begin to value other things.


A good quality sex life, frequent sex and libido are all related to health in the middle-aged and elderly.

These Benefits can only be achieved when you are married.

1. Sex is good for the heart and circulation 

Sexual intercourse improves the cardiovascular system and consequently all body circulation, decreasing the chances of infarction. "Researchers in England found that having sex two or more times a week reduced the fatal heart attack by half in men compared to those who had sex less than once a month. Sex increases blood circulation, beneficial especially for the brain, due to increased heart rate and deep breathing. Our blood pressure also benefits from regular sexual intercourse. Waste products that cause fatigue and even illness are removed as fresh blood supply arrives, to your cells and organs are saturated with fresh oxygen and hormones aiding in an effective and functioning circulating system.


2. Sex reduces stress
 
Endorphins and other hormones that boost mood are raised during sexual intercourse, helping relieve stress.A study by the University of Paisley in Scotland found that sex with a partner protects against stress. This effect was more pronounced in people who had sex with penetration and non-penetrative sex. This is also due to the endorphins and the oxytocin, which is released during sex. To release them, you do not necessarily need to climax. But at orgasm, the hormone boost is more intense. The hormones are as well as dopamine for our well-being and the best remedy for nervousness and depression.


3. Good for  hormonal balance 

Research has found out that those who lead a happy sex life rarely have cravings for junk food and sweets. This is due to the happiness hormones phenylethylamine and the endorphins. Our sex hormones play an important role in our health: estrogen and testosterone have a significant impact on our psyche and body weight. Men and women with too much estrogen are prone to fat storage, lack of motivation, depression and, above all, low libido. Frequent sex helps to normalize the hormone balance.


4. Burn calories and lose weight

The body can control the stress hormone cortisol during regular sex better. This brings a plus point in terms of weight control: too much cortisol stimulates the appetite for foods high in fat or sugar. Depending on the duration and intensity of sexual intercourse, you can lose between 100 and 300 calories in 35 minutes - the equivalent of 20 minutes of running. In 32 half-hour sessions you may be burning off 3, 570 calories which is a little more than the number of calories in one pound.






5. Increases life expectancy

Having an active sex life may be an easy, pleasurable way to extend your lifespan. A survey done in England, another in the United States showed the same result. It showed that those who had the most orgasms had half the death rate of those who did not ejaculate frequently. {number of orgasms with years of life}. The greater the sexual activity, the more one lives. Due to regular sex activity the was increases immunity and lowered risk of various diseases, such as cancer, diabetes, heart attack and even depression.



6. Give more desire to have sex!
 
Having sex actually boosts desire, believe it or not, the best antidote for a lower libido is to have sex. The more sex you have, the more sex you will want. Again the explanation is hormonal. The sexually active body gives off larger amounts of pheromones, that natural perfume that arouses horny in the partner. There is a boost in vaginal lubrication, blood flow to the vagina, and elasticity of the tissues during sex. All of which makes for better, more pleasurable sex and heightened libido. Therefore, always remember: in addition to quality, in terms of sex, quantity counts as well.



7. Sex decreases cancer risks

Research in the United States has found that men who have had sex more than three thousand times during life are 50% less likely to develop prostate cancer than those who have lower sexual frequency. Another study in France found that women who have active vaginal sex are three times less likely to get breast cancer compared to women with more infrequently sex life. What is known is that men who have more sex have a better functioning of the prostate, frequent ejaculation is said to allow the prostate gland to clear out carcinogens, and materials that may orchestrate the development of carcinogens.


8. Sex is a cure for headache

Have a headache", having a headache” might be an age-old excuse not to have sex. Researchers in Germany have categorically stated that sex can actually help relieve headaches. Scientists closely followed patients suffering from migraine or headache. Of the 400 respondents surveyed, 132 people reported having had sex while having a headache. The result is more than encouraging: 60% of patients with migraine and 36% of those with headache were relieved. This is because having sex causes a surge in the hormone ­oxytocin, plus other feel-good ­endorphins, which can help ease pain.



9. Sex is a great form of exercise.

 Healthy sex is good for your health. During sexual intercourse, the physiological changes in your body are the same as in a physical workout. A study showed that men burned an average of 4 calories a minute during sex and women burned off 3 calories. If you have sex three times a week for 15 minutes, you burn about 7,500 calories in a year. That's the equivalent of running 120 miles! Heavy breathing increases the amount of oxygen in your cells, and testosterone produced during sex keeps your bones and muscles strong. People with less active sexual live tend to exercise less frequently and they have bad dietary habits than those who are sexually active. Regular sex should not replace your time at the gym, but having an active, healthy sex life is a nice way to get some extra physical activity.



10. Rejuvenate.

According to a study those who maintain active sex life releases the hormones estrogen and testosterone, hormones that keep you young and vital looking. That making your hair soft, skin lustrous and eyes bright. This is as a result of the estrogen. Estrogen is known to promote youngness of the skin. It can rejuvenate more than a decade! The results of the survey showed that people who usually have sex four times a week look younger than 12 years. So if you are a wife and you want to look young and fresh forget of anti-aging creams and surgery regular sex will keep you young and healthy.



11. Sex brings the couple together 
Sexual satisfaction is deeply tied to happiness and stability of the couple. Sex and orgasms stimulate the release of a hormone called oxytocin that helps people bond. This “love hormone” helps build feelings of trust and love. Sex is the only thing that sets you and your spouse as more than roommates. And it's the only thing you share exclusively with him and no one else. So sex is a unique way for you to express love, romance and passion for each other in a way that you could not express with anyone else.



12. It’s fun 
Facebooking, going on Instagram to interact with family and friends is fun. Of course, it can be fun watching one of your favorite shows before going to bed. But making love to your spouse is a lot more fun than that.



13. Helps you to grow as a person 
Sex can have a massive impact on your self-esteem. In a healthy intimate relationship besides generating a sense of happiness and enhancing the quality of life. It can increase self-wealth and self-confidence. Study has shown that men who have sex regularly with their spouse are more confident than those who do not. Regular and satisfying sex life increases levels of the hormone oxytocin in the body, the released hormones during the sexual act, makes, the individual feels desired by the other, there is an intense exchange of energy feeding sensations of empowerment and security. A regular sexual act will make you feel more wanted and connected.










How to be more romantic

How to be more romantic



One of the most common complaints of women, over time in a relationship, is that “before their men were romantic but as time passed by they seem to be out of steam". Romance means to make someone feel that he or she is something special.
So it is not about what you do, but what feeling you trigger with your counterpart. Here are few things to do so as to bring back the fire of romanticism into your relationship.



1. Naturalness. Do not stop being yourself. Naturalness is fundamental to maintain authenticity, so do not pretend to love a kind of food you hate with passion or type of music you secretly despise all in the name of impressing your lover. No matter how hard you try you can’t be perfect. Ask yourself what were the attitudes she liked most for that reason she fell in love with you. Do not try to be something which you are not. At the end of the day you end up hurting your loved one. Relationship is all about being supportive, caring, sharing hobbies and learning new things from each other. So if your hobby is eating, sleeping or travelling make you partner aware and do not pretend. Honesty and naturalness are the first steps to being romantic.


2. Change the routine. Find new ways to spices your time in bed because this is one of the important part of your love relationship as a couple. To revive interest and enthusiasm, find new ways of kissing her, caressing her and pleasing her. Better still you can change your time of having sex, if you used to do it in the morning, you can do it at night or if you used to do it after dinner you can do it just after work. Try new things everything. If you wish to make your love making special, it learning new sex positions or doing it at different spot. Most men are unwilling to make the simplest changes to their sexual live, this makes their partners find them to be unromantic and this attitude of the men turn their wives to become less enthused when it comes to sex. If you are a man and you want your wife to find you romantic then be a step ahead, be ready and willing to make changes every time.




3. Encourage your fantasies. The things that makes a man excited is completely different from their lovers. Everybody liked to be praised for the things they do and especially their sex moves. For women, the key to their pleasure is when they get sweet compliments or get pampered. Sugarcoated compliments will not make you partner feel special but telling them things they love genuinely and you should mean the things you are saying. Start talking about new things in bed with her so you know what her current fantasies are, because over time they usually change, so do not stay in the past and surprise her and make her enjoy the relationships like never before. When couples share their fantasies the result can be great excitement and romance.




4. Seduce her. It is one of the foundations of romanticism. Women love to speak and they also love to be spoken to. If you want to seduce your wife then you must learn to romance your wife with words of love and desire. Women naturally wants to feel loved, pampered. They want their men to tell them how wonderful and unique they are. One important skill men need to learn is the skill of seductive touching. The men turn to be ridged when it comes to touching, though some women are also cooperates, harnessing the power of touching: massaging the neck, temples and shoulders accompanied with delicious kisses are great ways to starting seduction.   Try to seduce her every time you have the opportunity in a different way. Make her feel unique and special through words of love and or gifts. Tell her how much you love her and want to be with her, practice some new games or sexual positions everytime that you unleashes her passion.




5. Creativity. Creativity will keep the fire of romance at flame in the marriage. There are several things you can do to make you love life feel unique and special. You may find out what both of you are passionate about it can be a sport or cooking, anything that makes your both pleased and do it together. You can tell your lover romantic stories and this can make her feel loved and accepted. Use your free time to park at a romantic spot and talk about your individual goals and aspiration and your goals as couple. You do not need the highest IQ or be a billionaire to be creative, all what you need is the time to think of new things that will keep your relationship romantic and lovely. Creativity should be your best friend if you want your spouse to say my lover is romantic.

6. Give surprises. Every one love surprises. A great surprise will definitely astonish and amaze your spouse. The whole idea of a surprise is to do something that is unexpected. If you really want to give a surprise to your spouse make sure what you are going to do is something that your spouse would love. You want your spouse to be thrilled at your surprise. Monitor her and find out the type of thing your spouse really like or enjoy. Give your spouse undivided attention when it comes to conversations and you would become aware of what your spouse is dying to have. Your surprise need's not to be expensive, you can keep it very simple but it should have an impact on your spouse’s day or life.


7. Make her feel special. The idea of making someone feel special is about making them feel important, loved and how valuable they are in your life. If you are not making your spouse feel special then am sorry to say you are "unromantic," she wants me to tell you that she is sad and angry for you  not showing her that she is special.
If you can tell your date that you think she is special and that this moment is something special with her, she will feel very close to you.
How you do it exactly, however, is left to you: It can be just a moment - a look, a gesture, and a word, something that comes spontaneously. It can also be that you create a special moment that belongs only to you two.  There are other things to do to make your spouse feel needed and important. You can take a vacation together, buy your spouse a flowers or gift or try to communicate with your spouse while you are away. If you can make her feel special, she will love you.



8.Give her attention. Many women complain that they do not get the needed attention from their husbands and the men have complained that they just can’t make their spouse happy no matter what they do. For most women attention means: taking time to be romantic, telling her how much you appreciate her and how you feel about her and giving her compliments about her cloths and looks. You can do very simple things to show your wife that she is the most important personality in your life by helping her around the house, answering her phone calls, taking her to surprise data and giving her a listening ear most important. It will make your wife feel loved and she will find you to be romantic and caring.

9.Make time for her. How much time do you spend with your spouse? Most men are so busy that they can’t even spend 15 minutes with their spouse. When their spouse complain they become upset. Women need attention, they want to spend time with you, it because they love their husband. Time will not be available till you create the time yourself. Learn to balance your life and your daily activities, drop habits which you think are not helping your marriage. Take your wife out for dinner, help her cook, spend some time chatting with her if not every day at least every other day. Women love to talk, the more time you spend listening to her the more she will feel close to you.




10.Give Compliments. Your wife works hard just to keep the home tidy and the family in shape. Making you better and the home a happier place to be. Therefore they deserve to be complimented for the effort. For your information women love to hear sweet words, it an inherent attribute. Tell her how important she is in your life in your own words. She looks spectacular in her outfit compliment her. Tell her how much you love her cooking. It will be romantic to say to her that she is the most beautiful woman for you - when she is just waking up from bed. It important to compliment your wife every time to show how much you appreciate her as a person and her effort as a wife and a mother.