What are social skills?
Social skills are learned skills. They make it possible to express feelings, attitudes, desires, opinions or rights in accordance with the context and respecting others. They underlie our behavioral strategies helping to resolve a social situation in an effective way, acceptable for the subject and social context.
They allow us to improve our interpersonal relationships, to feel good, to get what we want and to prevent others from preventing us from achieving our own goals. These behaviors are necessary to interact and bond with others in effective and mutually satisfying ways.
What are the main social skills?
There are two types of social skills: basic, such as listening, starting a conversation or introducing oneself, and complex, such as empathy, emotional intelligence, the ability to communicate thoughts or feelings, recognition and defense of ones own rights and those of others, etc.
Basic social skills:
To listen
Introduce oneself, introduce another person
Start a conversation, ask a question
Make a request.
Complex social skills:
Empathy: the ability to put oneself in the shoes of others.
Emotional intelligence: social ability to manage feelings and emotions, choose between them and use this knowledge to direct one's own thoughts and actions.
Assertiveness: ability to be clear, frank and direct, saying what you want to say without hurting the feelings of others or belittling their value, defending only your rights as a person.
Listening skills: being able to listen with understanding and attention, understanding what the person wants to say and showing him that his message has been received.
Ability to communicate one's feelings and emotions: being able to show others our feelings in the correct way, whether positive or negative.
Ability to define a problem and evaluate the solutions: social ability to analyze a situation by taking into account the objective elements, as well as the feelings and needs of each person.
Negotiation: ability to communicate aimed at finding a satisfactory solution for the various parties.
Modulation of emotional expression: ability to adapt the expression of our emotions to those around us.
Ability to apologize: being aware of mistakes made and acknowledging them.
Recognition and defense of one's rights and those of others: ability to be aware of our rights and those of others and to defend them adequately.
Why is it important to develop social skills?
Social skills are the set of behaviors that allow us to bond with others in a satisfying way. This is why they are essential in any type of environment in which we can find ourselves: with family, at work, on the street, with friends, etc.
Adequate practice of these skills is beneficial for learning to express oneself and to understand others, to take into account their needs and interests, to try to find the most satisfactory solution for everyone when faced with a problem or to show solidarity. These are fundamental points if one wishes to live in society.
People lacking social skills have difficulty knowing how to say no, expressing their opinions or desires effectively, giving or receiving praise or criticism, asking others to change when their behavior is inappropriate, or managing interpersonal conflicts.
How are social skills acquired?
Social skills are transmitted to children by their parents, their family as well as their friends and teachers: they integrate them little by little and learn to use them. A person, child, adolescent and adult lacking social skills can also work on them through exercises.
If social skills are poorly acquired, a psychologist or psychotherapist can help you define your objectives, those of your child or your teenager and carry out sessions with you to learn how to work on them.
How important are social skills in children?
Social skills allow the child to learn communication skills, emotional self-control, expression of feelings, attitudes, desires, opinions or rights. They also allow him to ask for favors or to refuse to perform them: poorly integrated, they generate conflicts or incomprehension.
The development of social skills in children is essential, as they will help him in his relationships with others in all circles of existence and at all ages of life.
How do you help someone who lacks social skills?
If you are wondering how to develop social skills in a child, how to work on them in a teenager or an adult, there are several types of activities based on the recognition of facial emotions to associate with situations and the learning of certain skills.
Social skills can also improve through proper learning of:
Assertiveness, by increasing the ability to express one's feelings, opinions and desires with safety and without hurting the other.
Empathy, by increasing the ability to put oneself in another person's shoes to understand their position, even if they do not share it.
Verbal and non-verbal communication, to be able to effectively transmit information and emotions.
Conflict resolution, developing the ability to negotiate and generate agreements satisfactory to all parties in conflict.
The management of personal anger as well as the irrational confrontation of others.
Who can help you?
A psychologist or psychotherapist is particularly suitable for developing social skills. During a first session, he will study in depth the situation crossed by the child, the teenager or the adult and will propose him an adequate therapy according to his requests and needs.
